Luka sat on the couch, simply staring at the door. The knocking came again, louder this time, and he knew he'd have to answer it, no matter who was on the other side. The phone call had left him on edge- it was hard enough dealing with what Mecheal had told him, hard enough to force away his doubts, hard enough to keep his memories in their boxes where they belonged. But the ominous phone call, followed so quickly by the knock on his door- it could only be Radic, coming to confront him, coming to do- what? After what happened with Karel, Luka didn't even want to guess.

He pulled himself up and hobbled to the door. He looked through the peephole, but whoever it was was checking a piece of paper with his back to Luka- probably seeing if he had the right apartment, Luka thought. He considered keeping the door closed, pretending he wasn't home, but that would only delay the inevitable. Besides, Radic had just called, he knew Luka was home; he'd gotten into the apartment before. Best to face him looking as confident as possible, instead of hiding somewhere- he couldn't run from Radic forever. Luka took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Ah, I do have the right apartment," Father Leo said. "I was afraid I'd written the wrong number down." Luka slumped against the door jam, so relieved to see a friendly face, so relieved to see the one person he most needed to talk to right now.

""Come in, Father, come in," Luka said eagerly, "I'm so happy to see you." The priest came in and Luka shut and bolted the door without noticing the elevator had stopped on his floor without anyone getting off.

"I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday, " Father Leo apologized as he sat down next to the couch. "I hope everything has been all right."

"No, not really," Luka answered honestly. Luka told him everything that had happened that morning; about everything that Mecheal had said, about her doubts, her disbelief, about how it affected his own fears, his own doubts.

"I know there is a God," Luka assured the priest, "And I hope and pray that He will let me be with my family again one day. But her doubts scare me so." Father Leo considered his response carefully,

"This young woman- did she explain why she doesn't believe? Did she give a reason?" Luka thought of Mecheal's story, of all she'd been through; he knew he couldn't share all the details with the Father, but he had to say something, a little bit at least.

"She was hurt very badly by some men- the same men who- who." It was so hard to say the words.

"Who killed your family?" the priest finished for him. Luka nodded as he fought to control his memories, fought to keep the images safely in their boxes. He rubbed his forehead, pushing them away, then reached for the ache in his side.

"This woman has lost her way," Father Leo told him gently. "Try not to turn your back on her- she needs your help very badly. She is a lost lamb; perhaps you can help lead her back to the flock, back to the light and the truth, back to the Lord." Luka wasn't so sure- the priest hadn't heard her words, hadn't heard the venom in Mecheal's voice- it would take a miracle to save her soul.

"But I'm so weak," Luka protested. "And I don't think she'll even want to see me again."

"I will help you, my son," Father Leo promised. "But you must seek her out, you must try to help her. Perhaps she is why all this has happened to you recently- perhaps God needs your help to save her." They prayed together for a while, then the Father stood to leave.

"There is always a reason for things," he reminded Luka. "God always has a plan- its up to us to find out what it is. He will help you to succeed."

Luka didn't share Father Leo's optimism at first, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. How else could he explain the chance meeting with Radic? Why else would he have been shot so close to Mercy Hospital, why else would he have ended up in the very place that Mecheal worked, in the very room where she was? It *had* to be a plan, had to be God's plan- it was the only thing that made sense. Now Luka hoped he was strong enough to carry it out.

Father Leo's prayers had helped energize him, helped renew him; Luka thought of the wonderful dream he'd had, the dream of his family, happy together; and he felt the confidence, the optimism of the morning slowly return. He closed his eyes, remembering all the good things, all the good times, knowing he would one day be able to be with them once more...

He had fallen asleep again; Luka found it very disconcerting- he had never needed much sleep before, had never napped. He knew that sleep was part of the healing process, knew he needed rest to give his body a chance to heal itself, but he kept losing chunks of time; he couldn't wait to get back to normal, whatever "normal" might be.

It was one o'clock already. Luka ate a handful of grapes from the bowl on the table; he thought about having some of the cheese as well, but it had been out all morning and he didn't trust it. He hated to throw out food- it was so precious, no matter how carelessly Americans treated it- but it seemed too much of a gamble to eat it while his body was still so weak. So instead he went to the kitchen and made a sandwich. He looked out the window; it was a glorious spring day, so warm and inviting. Except for the brief cab ride home, Luka hadn't been outside in more than a week, and he needed some fresh air and sunshine- something to wash off the last vestiges of his hospital stay. He considered if he had enough strength to get to the little park next door to the apartment house; it really wasn't very far, and he decided to chance it. He'd had a nap, had some lunch, had the inclination- and it was just too nice to be inside.

The sun felt wonderful; Luka took a spot on the closest bench and leaned back to absorb the rays. A gaggle of children was running and jumping and climbing on the playground, infected by Spring fever, and he watched them through half-closed eyes, smiling at their antics. Everything was so peaceful, so normal; he could feel himself healing; he felt could sit here forever and be happy.

"Nice day, isn't it?" A man commented as he sat next to Luka.

"Um-hum," Luka replied non-committedly.

"It must nice to be outside again," the man continued. Luka stiffened, suddenly completely alert. The man was speaking Croatian, and Luka recognized the voice, knew who was next to him, knew he was in danger. He could only hope that being in the crowded park would offer him some protection.

"I do hope you're feeling better, Luka." The man stressed the last word, and Luka had to suppress a shudder as he glanced at his bench mate.

"Much better, Gregor," he answered guardedly in Croatian.

"Good, good," Radic said. "I was coming to see you earlier, you know, but you were busy with your priest, and I decided to wait. It's important to respect God, you know." Luka looked at Radic without turning his head, trying to figure out if Radic was serious or not, but he couldn't tell.

"It certainly is good to catch up with an old friend," Radic continued. "I was a bit hurt when you didn't acknowledge me last month, but I understand. Some things, some people are best forgotten." Luka said nothing; he just watched the children playing and waited for Radic to tell him what he wanted.

"I'm sorry about the mess with Karel," Radic went on, "The man never did have any brains- I don't even know why he came after you, Dr. Kovac. It wasn't necessary. But he had his own agenda" A vision of Karel crept before Luka's eyes; he rubbed his head to chase it away, then reached unconsciously for his side.

"But I really can't be upset by Karel's death," Radic was staring straight ahead, talking just loud enough for Luka to hear him. "In fact, I should thank you- you took care of a big problem for me, even though you didn't mean to. Karel was a snake; it was only a matter of time before he turned on me. But you insured that would never happen. I personally have nothing against you, Dr. Kovac," Radic assured him. "You know we've been watching you, making sure you were doing the, um -"right" things. But we can tell that you just want to forget all this, forget the past, and get on living. And that's good, because that's all I wish to do, as well." Luka's stomach was churning; now he knew that he was being spied on, that there were eyes following him- at least he wasn't crazy.

"I have a nice life here in America," Radic said, narrowing his eyes dangerously, "And I'd like to keep it that way. No one here knows of my- hardware- business in Croatia. And I'd like to keep it that way." Luka nodded. "And I'm sure that you would rather that no one knew of your -relationship- with 'Janko Pavic', either, not your co-workers, not the police, eh? And I respect that. You have your reasons. No need to jeopardize our lives here in America, you know?"

"No need at all," Luka agreed softly. The two sat quietly for a moment while Luka wrestled with his fear, his anger, while he wondered if he should really believe Radic.

"Why should I trust you?" Luka asked finally. "You have so much more to loose than I do."

"Luka, Luka, Luka," Radic answered, shaking his head with a bemused grin- Luka noticed Radic, unlike Karel, never called him Janko; he stayed away from the past. "Things are different here. Back then, it was easy to, to- hide things, shall we say, easy to make problems disappear. But I think I can trust you, Dr. Kovac- I think you just want to go on with your little life, go on seeing that little nurse of yours, and forget all that happened, forget about farmhouses and grenades, eh? Forget about the old times, forget about Croatia. We've both had enough of killing, don't you think? It's time for us to move on."

Easy enough for you to say, Luka thought- you didn't lose everything. But Radic's implied threat sent a shiver up Luka's spine- Gregor *had* thought of killing him, perhaps he had hoped Karel would do the job for him, had perhaps hoped that he and Karel would kill each other. And Radic thinks I only know about the guns, about the arms- he doesn't realize that I know it was so much more. Luka knew he had to be very careful.

"Why should I say anything to anyone?" Luka said softly. " It's all ancient history. I just want to live my life in peace. And I doubt that there's anyone who would care any more, anyway." Except Mecheal- Luka realized with a start that he was staring right at her; she was sitting on the other side of the playground, watching him, watching Radic. Why was she here? Their eyes locked a moment, but he quickly looked away; Mecheal was too dangerous to be near right now.

"Then we understand each other," Radic was saying. "That's good. I trust you will continue to do the right thing, Dr. Kovac. I'll be going home soon, but know this- if anything- anything at all- happens to disturb my life, I'll be coming for you. I won't go down alone." Luka knew by his tone that Radic would make good on his threat, whatever it took. But Luka knew Radic had nothing to fear from him.

"Good bye, Dr. Kovac- I trust that I will never see you again."

"Good bye, Gregor," Luka said flatly. Radic stood and stretched, then casually walked away and climbed into a waiting car; Luka could see at least two other men in the back seat as Radic sped away. The man didn't take any chances, Luka thought. He prayed that Radic would just go back to Cleveland and leave him alone from now on.

Luka looked back across the playground; Mecheal was still there, glaring at him; the hate was palpable even from so far away. He broke the gaze and closed his eyes- what had she wanted him to do? His hand reached for is aching side; his head started to pound, he wondered when this roller coaster nightmare that was his life would ever calm down, would ever end. Luka had to gather his strength, had to get home somehow. The apartment suddenly seemed a million miles away; he could see himself sprawled in the middle of the sidewalk, but he quickly pushed the image away; he just had to take things slowly, stand up carefully and slowly walk to the apartment.

A shadow blocked the sun; he forced his eyes open and found Mecheal standing in front of him, an angry look on her face.

"Why didn't you do anything?" Mecheal hissed. "You had the swine right there- you could have taken care of him!" Luka looked at her dejectedly, feeling only pity- she just didn't get it.

"Even if I had the strength, I wouldn't- couldn't- do anything to Radic," he said tiredly. "The past is done- I have to look to my future."

"To your Heaven?" Mecheal spat out sarcastically.

"Yes," he answered calmly. "Radic won't bother us any more- he gave his word. You have to trust me on this." Mecheal stared at him in disbelief.

"You trust that man?" She asked, incredulous. "Do you know he didn't even recognize me? Didn't even remember me- after all he'd done to me!" Luka felt sick again.

"You confronted him? When?" He asked worriedly.

"I saw him this morning, at your apartment house. He was in the lobby. I said hello to him; he looked right at me, but he didn't know me. He looked right at me, right through me- but he didn't remember." Thank God for that, Luka thought.

"That was a foolish thing you did." Luka told her angrily. "He thinks I'm the only one who knows him here- if he doesn't think he's safe, he'll come for me. And if he remembers you, he'll come for you, too."

"I'm not afraid of him," Mecheal insisted. "He can't tell me what to do. And he surely doesn't deserve to be walking around like he owns the world."

"It's not up to us," Luka told her gently. "You're letting him poison your soul. You need to let it go; you need to trust God to take care of things for you."

"I'm not going to get into that with you again," Mecheal answered harshly. "You can't trust Radic- he's been watching you, *watching you*! That's why I came back here after I got Stephan- I saw Radic this morning and I was afraid for you."

"He said he was going. I believe that," Luka answered.

"You take HIS word? Then you're a bigger fool than I thought." Mecheal turned to the playground. "Stephan!" She called sharply. A small boy broke from the crowd and ran to her.

"We have to go now." Stephan looked from his mother to the playground and back again.

"Do we have to?" He whined.

"Yes," Mecheal said severely. It was clear that arguing would do no good, and Stephan reluctantly followed his mother. He looked back to Luka and smiled; Stephan's dark eyes flashed under the baseball cap he had pulled low over his eyes, and Luka felt his heart stop. He was seeing not Stephan, not Ljustomisl's miracle child, but Karel- Karel's eyes, Karel's mouth, Karel's face, Karel's son...

To part 12

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