Strings Attached
finale
by Mrs. Eyre
"Yes?"
"Call your dad."
Call my dad. I can think of a few things I could call my dad. And myself.
A thin drizzle had set in by the time Luka left the hospital. He'd actually considered simply going back to his apartment, locking the door and drinking 'til he passed out, but his feet took him to her place anyway and he waited, spirits as damp as the weather, for her to answer the door. Except she didn't. He glanced at his watch; 6.15 pm. Where was she? He hesitated to use his key but damn it all, he was cold and damp and miserable, it was dark and he had not the energy to go home.
The lights were on in the apartment, but she didn't answer when he called her name. Her cigarettes and lighter lay on the table and the kettle was warm to his touch. Softly lit and warm as the apartment was Luka was still cold. He sat at the table and picked up her lighter, mechanically flicking it on and off, on and off.
I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. And the flame fascinated his tired eyes until they slid shut.
I can't do this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's a monster" said Ivica.
"Some father, huh?"
"I meant the boyfriend."
"The father too."
"Just doing his job."
"Yeah - making his daughter miserable."
"Protecting her. From the monster."
"And turning her into one."
"He was right though, about the young man."
"Maybe he would have stayed."
"For the money."
"She knew that. The old man just wanted to tie her up, fastened impossible strings to everything."
"Everyone comes with strings - Luka, you."
"Well, some strings are more ... unusal than others, wouldn't you say?"
Ivica shrugged. "It's usual to be unusual."
"Do you have an answer for everything?"
"No. Yes." He laughed then, a real laugh. "Am I a monster?"
"Oh, yes. Even your son says so."
"Luka said that?"
"No, Damir."
"Yes?" He muttered something in Croatian and pushed his plate away, digging into his pocket for the pen he'd been worrying as a substitue for cigarettes in the cinema. "You're right. About the daughter. She should have had her man and paid the price, even if it ended badly. Because everything has a price. You have to work out whether it's worth paying." He began to draw on the paper napkin at the side of his plate. "Thing is, Abby ... time's short. I had a wife and I loved her and she died. Danijela too, she died before her time. And the children died so much before their time that I can't think about it. I don't know what your life has been, I can't. But I don't understand all this ... soul searching. My son, he's a good man and he loves you, I know it. You know it. I want to see him happy. I'll tell you something now. I don't pray. Shocked, eh? But this last time, in summer when he comes to me, I'm praying then. I'm praying for it to be all OK with you, because it means so much to him. I'm praying for him to be settled doing his work which so suits him. I'm praying to see him happy. Think God was listening?"
"Maybe."
Ivica nodded. "I want to see this so much. But if it works I promise never to see him again. Doesn't matter so long as I know he’s happy with you, that you love him, that you can help him, he so much needs your help, you see? I want to like you but it doesn’t matter if I don’t as long as he is happy with you. I ask too many questions, but I need to know, for myself, you understand? I’m not a clever man. I need to know and so I ask, best I can. And I’m . . . “ he faltered.
“What?”
“Like man who can’t dance, feet everywhere.”
“Clumsy.”
”Clumsy. I’m clumsy and I fall into things and they get damaged. I don’t mean to damage you.” Abby nodded. “Can I ask you something? Does he still dream?"
"Yes."
"Bad dreams?"
"Sometimes."
"I couldn't stand those dreams in Vodice. I would go out, onto the sand, let the sound of the sea drown them out. "
"It's better than it was. Getting better."
Another nod. "Here - for you." He slid the paper napkin across the table. A few deftly executed lines and curves and the green lions were grinning up at her. "Souvenir from a monster." His voice was very quiet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't matter where he turned, the dog was there. It looked for all the world as though it were sleeping but when he looked closer he saw the blood caked and smeared around its muzzle. And then its eyes opened and he knew for certain that it was dead.
"Move! Why don't you move! I have to get inside!"
He stepped over the dog only to find himself at another door and there it was again. He tried to move it but couldn't keep his hands on it, it was so cold, too cold.
So many doors; the ambulance bay, trauma rooms, the lounge, Doc Magoo's, banks, shops, his father's house, Abby's apartment, and always it was there until in the end he understood and sat down next to it, leaning against the door jamb, fingers buried in the icy fur. He looked into its eyes, mottled now like rotting fruit, and the blood oozed and he cried, as people came and went, stepping over them both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He needed to shave, she thought as she watched him sleep, his head on her table, cigarette lighter clutched in his hand. His hair was damp and he hadn't taken off his coat. Setting down the groceries she sat down at the table cautiously. He stirred a little and she frowned, recognising the signs of his dreaming.
"Hey," she said softly. He didn't wake and she saw that there were tears on his face. "Hey!" A little louder this time and she reached over to ruffle his hair. He sat up abruptly, saying something in Croatian and wiping his face with his fingers.
"What?"
"The dog ... " he said.
"What dog?"
He looked around then and shook his head.
"You look terrible." Luka nodded, silently. "Didn't sleep too good, huh? I did. Well, eventually." Still he said nothing. "Are you going to speak to me? Because it's getting kinda lonely here."
"I don't know what to say."
"Aren't you going to ask me about my day? Go on, ask me about my day."
"Abby - "
"There, I knew you wanted to ask. Well, contrary to expectations it was good. A little ... prickly sometimes but really, on the whole, good."
"I don't - "
"I learned a little about Cubism and Hopper, I saw a very cute photograph of you and got a whole load of advice from your dad. He gets to be God and I get to be your mom sometimes."
"My what?"
"Your mother." Luka stared back at her, panic beginning to gleam in his eyes, and Abby waved a hand. "I guess you had to be there. Oh, and we saw a movie. No popcorn."
"A movie."
"Yes. 'Washington Square'. Your dad does a passable impression of Ralph Richardson, did you know that?" Luka shook his head. "No? His Montgomery Clift was awful though."
"Abby, what's going on?"
"Going on?" She leaned on folded arms toward him. "I'm being the bigger person here. Look at me - all growed up. Who knew, huh?"
"I don't understand." His actually had tears in his eyes now.
"I forgive you. You're off the hook, paroled. What you did was ridiculous, but I still have my savings, you're not the pet killing type and the other option would entail you sleeping with Carter, so ..." Luka opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head. "Were you about to say you're sorry?" A nod. "You did that already. Apology accepted. I'm kinda taking charge on this one, you know? It's not going to shut us down, it's not, because I happen to think you're worth it, strings and all. Bottom line - I love you. And I mean, if you deal with my strings I'll deal with yours. And you don't understand any of this, do you? The thing is - you were a jerk, but then I guess it was your turn. You pissed me off, Luka. Don't do it again."
"No."
"So - next step. You have some serious amends to make." and she got up and headed toward her bedroom. When he didn't follow she turned back. "Now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"Oh, don't."
"I had a charming day. She's a very nice woman. And you?"
"That's it?"
"What were you expecting?" Ivica glanced around the hotel lounge irritably. "Where is that bloody waiter?"
"You apologised? She was OK with you?"
"Yes. And yes. She'll take care of him."
Damir sat back in his seat and let his breath out extravagantly. He'd been on edge all day as he followed Tatijana, as she scoured what seemed like every shop in Chicago for gifts for the children, for their neighbour, for her mother; picked at his lunch in the Walnut Room to Tatijana's disgust and scowled at her when she told him not be such a miserable swine. She was upstairs now, changing for dinner. Damir took the glass of scotch from the waiter and had to stop himself from downing it in one. Ivica had no such scruples and set his glass emphatically back on the tray, ordering another shot.
"So you apologised, you really made a proper apology?"
"Damir, I have my faults, but I'm not a liar." his father returned, coolly. "You can judge for yourself. We're having dinner with her tonight."
"With her? Where?"
"At her place. Her and Luka I suppose, if she's managed to talk him out of the funk he's got himself into. And then if they've got out of bed. She's a passionate woman, though she hides it well. I remember when your mother and I fought - "
"Tata, please, no."
"You're such a little bourgeois prude, aren't you?"
"No. It's just that some things are not to be discussed between father and son and the sexual habits of you and Mama is one of them. Where's Tatijana?"
"She'd better hurry up. I don't want to keep our hostess waiting."
"No, indeed. Wouldn't want her to think you have no manners, would we?"
"Are you going to keep this up all night, this pissiness? Because if you are you can stay here and eat overcooked steak. What's the matter with you? I told you it was allright. We talked, walked, saw a film."
"A what?"
" 'Washington Square'. Olivia de Havilland was a very handsome woman, don't you think?" Ivica's scotch arrived before Damir had chance to respond to this and Tatijana arrived a moment later.
"So - how did it go?"
"Ask the lawyer over there. He's already interrogated me, and I'd rather skip the cross examination if it's all the same to you." Tatijana raised her eyebrows inquisitorially at her husband who didn't answer. "Oh, now he has nothing to say. Well - exhibit A - invitation to dine with Miss Lockhart tonight."
"Tonight?" Tatijana looked a little alarmed.
"Yes. 8 O'clock - so finish off your gin. Is that a new blouse?"
"Yes."
"And earrings?"
"Yes. You like them?"
"Very nice. They look expensive. Couldn't be what's given that bear over there a sore head I suppose. Can we get flowers anywhere at this time of night? Damir, go and ask at the desk."
"I - "
"Something not too fussy. Well, go on, boy, we haven't got all night."
Tatijana waited until her husband was out of earshot before saying "It was OK? I mean really?"
"Yes. You think I don't know how to behave. I do. I did."
"So you didn't ...”
"What?"
"Argue?"
"Of course we argued. But it's all right. She knows I'm a stupid old man who can't keep his mouth shut, I know she's scared to death, but we got along splendidly in the end."
"No flowers; you left it too late to order them." Damir struggled to keep the satisfaction from his voice.
"Well then order some for tomorrow. They'll have to go to the hospital, she's working."
"Anything else?" Damir asked, testily.
"Jesus, stop bellyaching, I'll do it myself." Ivica made his way to the desk and Tatijana smiled at her husband.
"You noticed the tie, I suppose."
"No - what about it?"
"He's wearing it. Without being told. I think he wants to make a good impression."
"Well, that's a first. Better late than never."
"Damir!" Ivica's voice carried from the desk and Damir closed his eyes, wincing. "You have your credit card on you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tell me about the dog."
"What dog?"
"You know what dog." Abby nestled closer to him and pulled the comforter around them more tightly. He was silent for what felt like a long time and then said "In Vukovar ... when the building was hit, there was a dog, just an old brown dog, dead, lying across the doorway. I had to step over it - him - to get into the place."
"And?"
"I cried about it. After I'd stopped crying for Danijela and the children, I'd find myself thinking about that dog and I'd cry." He waited a long moment before continuing. "It started showing up in my dreams. When we were together ... before ... I'd dream I was at your door, wanting very much to get in and the dog was there. I couldn't get past him. I mean I would, but then I'd still be at your door and he'd still be lying in my way."
"Maybe you have to tell him to go."
"He's dead. He can't move."
"He's a stray. You know strays - you have to stop feeding them. They go eventually."
"Is that what I do? Feed him?"
"I guess."
"But then who else will feed him?"
"Like you said - he's dead." She wriggled onto her stomach and looked down at him. "I mean, I love you you know, but I can't have your dead dogs lying around the place."
He smiled a little then. "I never said I was tidy."
"No, you're not; like I can talk."
Luka reached a hand upwards and ran his fingers across her mouth. "I love you."
"I know."
"I don't even like dogs much."
"Me neither." The hand which had been resting on her face slid around the back of her head and he pulled her into a kiss which grew more heated as it continued. With some effort she broke away from him.
"We don't have time for this now."
"What?"
"You have to shower, and make yourself beautiful, as do I, because we will be having company to dinner in - " and here she glanced at the bedside clock " - half an hour."
"Company?"
"The clan Kovac. Well, the three of them currently available."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He stopped there, took in the raised eyebrows and half smile. "Ah."
"Indeed."
"What are you cooking, is there anything I can do to help?"
"I'm not cooking."
"So we're eating what?"
A beat. "Pizza."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Leave them, they'll keep 'til tomorrow."
"You're working tomorrow."
"Eleven O'clock, there'll be plenty of time."
"I'm on at eight."
"Doesn't matter, I think I can cope." She took the coffee cup from him and wound her arms around his waist. "You know, you really, really pissed me off." He looked down at her, startled and alarmed, but then caught her smile.
"Oh - more amends?"
"Oh, yes, I think so. You haven't even begun to work this one off."
"You're very hard, you know."
"I think that's my line, isn't it?"
“I guess you’re not being my mother now, huh?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hall stretched endlessly in either direction as he faced her door. Looking down he knew what he would see. Stooping slightly he was surprised to see that there was no blood around the muzzle of the dog.
"Hey. Hey, dog. You have to go." The eyes opened and regarded him steadily, clear, knowing. "You have to leave. There's no room for you here." The tail hit the floor with a dull thud once, twice, three times and the dog got to his feet, stretched and shook himself and then padded silently down the hall. He watched until it was out of sight and then turned to put his key in the lock. The door swung open and he stepped over the empty threshold.