FOREVER
part 3
By Pat
There’s no time for us;
There’s no place for us.
What is this thing that builds our
dreams,
Yet slips away from us.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
There’s no chance for us,
It’s all decided for us.
This world has only one sweet moment
Set aside for us.
Who wants to live forever, who wants to
live forever?
Who wants to live forever, who dares to
love forever?
Oh when love must die
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever and we can love
forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever?
Luka struggled awake slowly. Where was he? This wasn’t his apartment. And what was that feeling, that over powering sensation that was in his head and all around him? Then he remembered. He was at MacLeod’s and yesterday the world, as he knew it had ended. He had a spent a restless night. When he would find sleep, his dreams had been haunted by visions of Daniela. She called to him and he could not go to her. And if he accepted this life as an immortal, he could never go to her – unless another immortal took his head and ended his misery. But still, a part of him shuddered at that thought. He tried to envision the future – what would life be like 100, 200 or more years from now? What changes would he see? What new exciting breakthroughs would he witness if he were to choose this life? MacLeod had survived now for over 400 years. Surely during that time he had loved and lost. How did he handle the pain. Once again the image of Daniela filled his mind and his heart. God he had loved her. His beautiful wife. Would she haunt him forever? He had held her close in that war-torn room, and whispered his vow to her, “Wait a while my beloved, I promise I will join you and the children soon.” If he chose to accept this immortal life, that vow would never be fulfilled. He had let her die once. Could he now abandon her forever?
Forcing himself to move he sat up on the edge of the bed. He had to do something. He couldn’t stay here all day. He saw some clothes laid out on a chair. Duncan must have brought him those some time during the night or early morning. After showering and dressing, he ventured out to find MacLeod in the kitchen.
“Good morning, Luka.” Duncan greeted him. “I won’t ask how you slept, I can see that for myself. Here.” he pushed a cup of coffee across the counter to Luka, “You look like you could use this. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.”
Luka picked up the coffee cup, “Thank you, Duncan. This is fine. I don’t need breakfast, I’m not hungry.” He stated flatly. He took a sip from the cup; not seeing the look MacLeod gave him. “Well, it’s already fixed, so you’ll have to eat some of it.” Duncan said firmly. “Besides, it won’t do any good trying to starve yourself. You can’t die that way.” He ignored Luka’s look of surprise, as he carried their plates to the table. He had a pretty good idea what was going on in his friend’s head. The two men ate in silence. Duncan knew the conflicting storm of emotions his friend was experiencing right now. He still remembered that day in Glenfinnan, the day he had died in battle with a neighboring clan. Waking up in that hut, only to be called a demon and banished from the clan by the man he had called father. He had wandered lost and alone, not knowing what he was, until Connor had found him. At least Luka would be spared that.
“Duncan, may I ask you something?” Luka looked across the table at MacLeod. Seeing him nod, he continued, “Have you ever loved a mortal woman?”
“Yes, I have. Many times.” Duncan realized now what was troubling Luka, and he waited for the next question he knew would come.
“What did you do when they died? How do you handle the loss? Does it get easier each time?” Luka couldn’t stop the questions; he had to know.
Duncan was silent for a moment. In his mind he saw once again the faces of the women he had loved and lost – his first love, Deborah Campbell, then in 1872, the beautiful Lakota Sioux woman and her son. He saw once again their lifeless bodies after the bluecoat soldiers had raided the camp. And finally, he pictured his last mortal lover – his Tessa. They had been together for 12 short years. She was the only one he had told about his immortality, and she still loved him and stayed with him. He had planned to marry her, but like Luka, she died gunned down in the street by a drug-crazed punk. Duncan looked at Luka and knew he was waiting for his answer.
“When they die you are left feeling naked, vulnerable and alone in your grief. You mourn them and then you go on. They become part of the past and only cherished memories. And no, it never gets easier. That too is part of the price we pay for immortality.” Duncan stated quietly.
“I don’t know if I can pay that price.” Luka replied. “I’m not sure I want to. I can’t just pretend Daniela, Jasna and Marko never existed.”
“You don’t have to pretend they weren’t part of your life. They were. But now they’re gone, and you’ll always have the memories. But you need to look to the future now. I know you are confused and overwhelmed right now, Luka, but give it some time.” MacLeod advised. “And I will be here to help you. We need to get started with your training. When you’re finished, we’ll go to your apartment and get some of your clothes so you can move in here.”
“I can’t do that, MacLeod, I have to go to work today. I have a job to do.” Luka protested.
“You had a job. That's finished now. You need to spend this time in training, Luka.” MacLeod continued. “You have to learn to fight and defend yourself. They are out there. This is the time of The Gathering. They will come for you, older immortals who won’t think twice about taking your head. They hunt young immortals like you because you’re an easy target. You need to call work, make up an excuse why you won’t be in and lets get started. The phone is over there on the desk.”
Duncan picked up their dishes, taking them to the kitchen to wash. That way he could give Luka some privacy to make the necessary phone call. Luka dialed the familiar number and after reaching Kerry Weaver, he told her a family emergency had come up and he had to return to Croatia. No, he didn’t know when he’d be back. After Kerry had wished him well, she had told him to get in touch with her when he returned. His job would still there be there for him. If only it was that simple, he thought bitterly.
The next few days passed by in a blur for Luka. Bit by bit MacLeod was attempting to instruct him in the ways of an immortal. Luka now knew what that sensation was, MacLeod had told him, “You pay close attention to that feeling – that’s your warning that another immortal is near by. It could be a friend, or it could be a challenge, and you must be prepared.” But Luka still hadn’t come to grips with whether or not he wanted to be prepared. His dreams were still filled with images of Daniela. He felt himself sinking into an ever-deeper depression.
MacLeod watched this happening and felt powerless to help his friend. He knew Luka had to find those answers for himself. But he also knew what awaited him out in the world. He had to decide and decide soon. Glancing at the still figure sitting dejectedly in the chair, Duncan decided it was time he at least got up and moved some. “Come on Luka, let’s start working on some self defense and strength training. Then we’ll start some sword work. You will need to learn to use a sword if you want to save your head.”
Luka shrugged. “Maybe it would just be simpler to let some immortal take my head and be done with it.” He muttered softly. By now, MacLeod’s patience was at an end.
Suddenly Luka’s breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t seen Duncan move, but now he felt the cold, sharp edge of steel as the razor-sharp katana pressed against his neck. He raised his eyes to look at up at Duncan. He felt he was looking into the face of death. Gone was the easygoing man he called friend. He had been replaced by the Highland warrior MacLeod had been born and raised to be. “Do you really want to die, Luka? Is that really what you want?” MacLeod questioned harshly. “Think carefully before you speak. I could do it. Just a flick of my wrist and your head will be gone from your body. Your quickening will be mine. Is that really what you want? It’s your choice now – life or death!” He waited in agonizing silence for Luka to speak. He prayed it would be the answer he wanted to hear.
song credit: "Who Wants to Live Forever" by Queen.
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