Finale by Vicki
Judith Baker searched through out the hospital, trying to find Luka Kovac. She couldnt find him but she was not giving up. Randi told her what she needed to hear. Dr. Kovac was over at Doc Magoos getting something to eat before he headed home for the night. Jude grabbed her coat from her locker, gathered her courage and will, filled her heart with them both, and set out to change what would be the rest of her life.
Through all the turmoil in her life, Jude found a tiny capsule of courage in her soul to try, what was there for her to lose. Her heart? She had lost that before and survived. Her soul? Devastated but repaired. Her mind? Touched but mended. What did she have to lose? Her life? Not a chance, shes almost lost it once before and she had pulled through. She had found strength in Kerrys words and kindness and her mothers memories, and survived. What did she have to lose if she didnt take a chance? Luka Kovac. His love and his life and as she walked into Doc Magoos, saw him sitting there and went to him, she was determined to make sure she would never lose either again.
His strong will abundant. He had a plan. He would not let Jude Baker back into his heart under any circumstances. He looked into her eyes and lost himself there immediately. His planned failed him miserably.
Stab me in the heart Jude, I bleed. Luka snapped, and Judes sorrow unexpectedly weaved his soul with sadness. He didnt want it to but it did. He didnt want to give into her sweet smile and innocent eyes so easily but felt he was. She didnt know what to say. Her mind full of words, her heart full of emotions. Her whispered words were not heard. She lost herself to him and his gentle presence and he tried to ignore her.
Whats this? asked Jude touching the whiskers growing on his chin. She tried to pretend nothing had happened between them, both their hearts knew different. He pulled away before he had to feel her gentle fingers on his face. A beard.
Is that what it is. Jude joked with him; he was not impressed with her. She had broken his heart and now she was making fun of him. Oh God it was just a joke. He couldnt believe she could make jokes at a time like this. The day had been long and hard. The night complicated. He risked his life. He lost a patient. His heart lay broken. Jude continued to plague his mind and now she sit close to him, their arms brushing up against each other, the pleasure of feeling her again was so intense Luka could feel himself go weak, and his legs begin to tremble.
I think it makes him look very sexy. complemented Trish, a customer sitting on the other side of Luka, who had heard the whole conversation. She was a woman who had finished visiting her mother at the hospital. Luka smiled in embarrassment. Jude was not impressed. First Jenny Adams and now a complete stranger. She didnt care for either. She knew women would throw themselves at him. He was a good-looking man, smart, funny sometimes, a man who was a gentle giver and tender lover. She only cared for Luka and she would fight for him now until she bled.
What? asked Trish.
You think he looks sexy with a beard, you should see him without one. Trish defeated, finished her dinner, and left them to it; obvious to her they were lovers, trying to get through a bad patch in their relationship.
Luka looked at Jude, she looked back. Admiration envelope inside his heart. He could see how hard she was trying to make amends. He feared opening his heart to her again would destroy him. He got out his money from his jacket pocket and left it on the counter for his bill, and with no more words, he got up and walked out. Oh come on. Jude couldnt believe he was just walking out. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to make him hers forever. She would not give up. What was she suppose to do now? She knew. She got off her seat and rushed after him.
Luka! she yelled after him, as she came out the door.
What Jude, what? he waited. He wanted an explanation. He wanted to know why she did this to him. Why she broke his heart.
You wouldnt understand. Jude pleaded with his sense of fairness. She needed a chance to explain, to tell him everything her mind was overflowing with.
Try me Jude, he suddenly remembered, Oh thats right, you already did. Luka snapped. He briskly walked away so that he didnt have to get caught with her any longer. All she could do was stand there, watching him walk away for the second time today, and feel the ache in her heart. This was not going to be easy. He was going to make her fight and fight she would, until he was in her life and she was in his.
Luka felt having Jude in his life right now was an illusion he dreamt up in his mind, and a strong turbulence stir in his spirit. She had tried to talk to him at Doc Magoos and he had coldly dismissed her and walked away. Stupid. His heart suddenly sank deeper into panic. Why did he not step up and offer a compromise. Why had he not risked his life and his love to her? He knew why. He was terrified of the torment he would whether had he had to lose her all over again.
The moonlight came through the drawn curtains. Luka sat in the dark. Vodka on the table half drunken from the bottle. His hair wind swept. He had decided to walk home instead of catching the El. He needed to clear his head and think seriously about where his life was right now, where he wanted to go, and if he was willing to let Jude go with him. His jacket and tie left where he dropped them on the floor. His eyes tired. His soul worn.
He had done everything he could to save Joshua Black, risked his own life. Stood in the middle of the street surrounded by gunfire. Memories of his life in the war and of those he had lost seep into his already overwhelmed mind, but the boy had succumbed to his injuries. His wounds far too severe for anyone to survive. Luka drowned his sorrow of his day and his life in another big swig from the Vodka bottle, and had no way of keeping his thoughts away from Jude. It severed him to his soul to be this way to her, but he had his heart to shelter. He could think of nothing else but be rude and cold to her to keep her away from his heart and his soul, but it hadnt worked. She still lived there as passionately as she did the moment he saw her. He hated himself for being mean to her and he knew he had a decision to make. Did he want to continue to be a bastard to her, so she would eventually give up and leave his heart to mend or risk his heart and his love and take her back giving her a second chance, hoping she didnt violently walk out again, so he could make a life with her. His heart was torn, his mind lost, his soul craving to find the right answer.
He wished he hadnt met her. He wished he hadnt let her into his heart almost immediately after coming into his life. He wished he hadnt fallen madly in love with her. He was lying to himself. Of course, he didnt wish any of it. He couldnt imagine Jude not being in his life and Jude not being his life. He knew he had already made his decision.
She was the happiness he had lost after the death of his family.
**In the still of the night, the baby no longer cries, sorrowed tears fallen, heartbreak bellowed and softly lies. His soft breath ceases. His one sweet dream forever remains. Heavens angels took him in their gentle light; he took their hands and felt not the slightest pains. - Marco Kovac.**
He was almost on the brink of stepping over into a place where he would never find the strength to survive. He wanted to retreat back into a life which had been gentle and kind to his heart, and distract his feelings from the sadness in his life but he didnt get what he wanted.
She had been an angel, who had eclipsed his life with such pleasure and pain. Her eyes his pleasure, her fear of riding out the storms in her life his pain. He lingered in an abyss of prophecy and protection. He was all to aware he would need to protect himself from the events he predicted was about to happen in his life without Jude.
Luka engaged his thoughts to something else; he could no longer bear her celestial being surpassing everything else that existed in his life. His work. His friends. Suddenly her sweet smile transcended over all else, he gave in, he gave up, he conceded to it. The carnage she had set upon his being slowly begun to fade, and faith surface to his life. Suddenly he wasnt afraid to explore all the possibilities of what lay ahead in his future. A partner. A lover. A friend. He had welcomed a beautiful creature to his kingdom, and knew he would support her through all the times that judged her. All the memories that haunted her. Rage against all who were cruel and unkind to her life. Brave her unsettle sleep and insecure wake. He would tower her with his castle of wise and wishes. Favor her with success and bind her with exhilaration. Applaud her devotion to all she loved and store away from her heart all that she didnt.
Luka lounged back in the couch and emphasized on all the moments he spent with her that embraced his heart and his life with love and passion and happiness, discarding all the ones that hadnt, realizing he could survive all her bad, her nightmares, her fear. He had his love for her, his faith and his hope to help him, and fell slowly to sleep, hearing a soft tapping at his door.
A canyon of love hold her heart so tightly, Jude had the will to take upon her life all, which was Luka Kovac. She took her humane host, and his trusted soul within her sanctuary of love and lust, fire and fiery and entomb them away from her turmoil and unrest. She accepted the certainty of knowing, she was willing to give her heart to him and inhabit the trivial, the urgent, the learning, the telling, and the told of what was his life.
Jude gallantly broke the barrier canvassing her heart and spirit for so long, and made them absent from her existence, along with her fear and her father. She set out to rebuild the bridge that had broken down between her and her beloved, and give no excuses just reasons to why they were better together than torn apart. Her willed heart, bloom with passion and power and she stepped forward to cement her life within his and celebrated what she prayed Luka allowed her life to be.
She tossed away her river of tears, no longer needed to be cried. Her enslaved memories of her father no longer needed to be relived. Her devastating past no longer needed to be remembered. Freed her mind, filled her heart, locked her soul tight with the love he had shown her and had a sudden moment of insight.
**During a night of gift and giving, showing and sharing, a new baby was conceived by two gentle lovers. Anya Kovac was not too far from home. The Croatian accent and dark beautiful eyes came from her father, Luka, and her strong will and passion even at 5 years old were strengths she inherited from her mother, Jude.**
Jude, her nerves steady, her vision clear, her mind tranquil stood outside Lukas apartment door determined to make a life with him. She didnt need a deep breath, she didnt need to calm her heart, or rest her soul. She had endured a life of temper and torment and she had been rescued. Her heart bludgeoned and barricaded but it had been touched. Her mind ridiculed and slumbered often into nightmares but she had overcome. She took the responsibility of her actions, raised her folded fist to his door, softly tapping she searched out to find the forgiveness she needed, the understanding she wanted, and the love she loved with all her heart and soul.
Are you mad at me because I walked away, or are you mad at me because I walked away and you slept with Jenny Adams? Luka was surprised at her question. What was she talking about? He hadnt slept with anyone except the woman he loved.
You should think less and do more with your time then to believe anything that woman says, said Luka.
So you didnt sleep with her?
He didnt answer. He needed her to trust him. She didnt need to hear his words, she trusted him with everything that she was. She yearned for the closeness she had always felt from him. He had enchanted her and she looked forward to the moments in his day that made him smile, the days he was untouched by anger or insults. She embraced the times she found herself looking into his dark beautiful eyes only ever seeing perfection reflecting there.
I love you. She could say the words easily now. She wasnt afraid of what they meant and where they would take her. Luka reluctantly let himself be touched by her smile.
No you dont, Jude. She closed her eyes for a brief moment that in a way expressed her sadness that he didnt believe what her heart felt.
I love you, Luka, she spoke the words softly, she was not giving up. He could fight, yell, call her names, but she was not leaving. Her life stood in front of her with pride in his heart, and she would take it, and rejoice in it, and love it, always, Do you, still love me? She was direct and straight to the point; she had no time to waste. She had a love to concur. He knew the answer, he had always known, and always would. He could no longer deny himself of Jude Baker. She was his life. Intense. Scared. Growing. Luka did not want to yield to her heart, her love, her spirit but he faulted, and why would he not. He loved this woman with all his heart and soul, and could find no way of stopping what he felt, and no longer did he want to. Was it this easy? Was it this simple? Walking in and standing there beautiful as ever, talking words of love, being forgiven just like that. Yes it was. Sometimes it wasnt, and Luka didnt worry his mind with what wasnt, but what was.
Before he could speak, before she heard words from his lips that she feared, she stood on the tips of her toes and lent forward, she looked innocently into his eyes and he couldnt resist them. She took it upon herself to be his giver, and softly kissed him, promising everything. He instantly pulled away, What are you doing?
You told me to think less and do more. I thought less and, did more. He stood for a moment finding his balance and letting his heart adjust to the impact she had just placed upon him.
Im sorry for everything, Luka. I didnt mean hurt to you. I ran away because I was afraid of a past that I suddenly realized I didnt have to be afraid of anymore. Im alive, and I am happiest when I with you. You can tell me to go and not let me back into your life, or your heart, but I will still want you, and I will still love you. I will love you, always, and Im sorry, Jude apologized profusely, and she didnt need to, he had already forgiven her. He had forgiven her the moment he saw her standing in the trauma room earlier today, showing him she loved him. He had forgiven her the moment he opened his door and saw her standing there pride in her eyes, truth within her heart. He had forgiven her the moment she told him what her heart felt, I love you. She kissed him again, and he didnt resist. He didnt contest. Their kiss warm, long, and loving. A shiver ran down his spine, it was everything he had remembered it to be. Wet. Soft. Forever. Their kiss, fell into a hug. His warm arms wrapped her to his chest like she had never left. Her soft calm breath on the side of his neck was the heaven he recognized. I didnt sleep with her. Luka whispered in her ear, and he felt her heart beat next to his, with undying commitment.
Jenny who? She no longer existed to either of them. She was a forgotten nightmare that had already past.
I didnt sleep with her. His expression was full of enthusiasm of where they were to go from here.
I know. She did know. She could see the truth where she always saw it. She was happy. There was something about Luka that did that to her. His eyes. His soul. His life.
The dark night had fallen, the last of winters snow melted slowly over the streets, and two lovers came together. Jude tasted the flesh that teased her, his silky skin warm to the touch. She loved the blissful look that rested on the handsome face looking back. He shivered in excitement and in ecstasy, electrified by her fingertips. He adventured into a jungle of erotic pleasure by the dampened touch of her tongue and the hunger of her body.
Jude wanted to watch him grow and learn and be the best he could possibly be and who it was he was destined to become. He wanted to grow old with her. They lay together holding one another, drifting in and out of sleep, making love, embodied with hope and faith. Luka found peace within her existence, and buried himself within the foundation that slowly began to build between them. Jude caressed the solace she witnessed from her beloved, and sealed it within her ocean of feelings and emotions. He was her pillar, she was his complete. Their love, to have and to hold in earth, and in heaven.
Whistling, the dawn rose over the horizon. The morning was warmer, and no snow fell. The daylight cast a shadow over Luka like none ever before. He woke to the sound of traffic, and the people beginning the day. He stretched his tired muscles and reached out his long arm to his beloved. Sorrow, immediately fell across his face. He did not find her. His heart had no time to break, his soul wither, his spirit lost, when through tired eyes he saw her. Jude quietly strolled through the door of his bedroom, trying not to wake him. Her naked flesh as beautiful as he remembered.
The look on his face showed what he thought, and what he felt. Im not going anywhere, Jude laughed as she got back into bed with him, Youre stuck with me now, lover. She kissed him hard on the mouth, and he accepted it and he accepted her. He sat up on the pillows, and Jude lay upon his chest. She was quiet, too quiet. Her mind wandering through all the moments of the past six months. Luka interrupted her thoughts, Is everything okay?
Everythings fine, but she hesitated. She hoped he was excited to hear her news as she had been only a few minutes ago. News that would again change them. But what?
I need to tell you something. Her voice serious. Her nerves excited. Her precious being tingling all over. He could feel the electric current from her every pore.
Tell me what? He loved this woman with all of his heart and he would spend the rest of his long life with her.
Jude spoke no words, she showed him. She gently took his large hand and softly laid it upon her flat stomach, that wouldnt be that way for too much longer and she couldnt wait. Dr. Albright, Obstetrician, told her what she had already known. She could feel it. A mothers intuition so to speak. Her eyes gave it away. Her happiness abundant. Her love for Luka growing stronger with every second. His eyes lit up. He knew what she was trying to tell him, and they asked, and her answer, whispered Six weeks. The first time they made love.
Luka Kovac took the woman he held in his gentle embrace, and fell in love with her all over again. Their bond as strong and as special as the tiny being that grew in her now. He was overcome with joy and love. Tears came to his eyes. He was going to be a father again. He would have a child to love and nurture. He couldnt wait. He loved being a parent. He had rejoiced in being a father twice before and they had been taken from him in devastating circumstances, and his love for them, and his late wife, brought him to this place. A new love. A new life. They had brought him home.
Jude Baker held her lover tightly in her arms, and fell in love with him all over again. Her faith and hope in the man she loved grow as strong as the baby inside her did. She was complete with happiness and worship. Joy filled her heart. She was going to be a mother for the first time in her life, and she couldnt wait. She would love and cherish her baby, and give it a life it so richly deserved. Protect her child from the woes and wars of life, and of living. Encourage her daughter when anguish showed, and heartbreak crumbled her body. She would open a life of experience and experiment; of comfort and security to a daughter, she would unconditionally love always.
For the first time in her life, Jude was free from her father, thoughts of him no longer plagued her mind, and the fear no longer strangled her soul. Happiness and love live in her heart and in her belly, and her someday finally begun. She had found her place. Her new love. Her new life. Luka Kovac and his child gently, and lovingly brought Judith Baker home.
to the epiloge, "Lucia"
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