DAMAGED
PEOPLE
PART 3
By
Pebbles
The very next day Luka was on the case.
Catching Kerry alone in the lounge having a break he gave her a
brief run down on Alice’s situation. “Do you know
anyone who might sponsor her as a music therapist – she is
qualified in the UK. I know it’s a long-shot but you know
more people than I do” He gave Kerry one of his smiles
which, if only he knew, turned grown women into putty in his
hands.
“Well we could start with Adele
Newman. She would have a wide range of contacts in various
institutions offering therapy of one kind of another. Why don’t
I give her a call, see if she could have lunch with us.”
“That would be great Kerry. Thank you.”
The morning was fairly quiet in the ER
and Luka took the opportunity to get up to date on his charts. He
was working on them at the admit desk when he noticed Elizabeth
Corday walking through the department. Impulsively he stood up
and called her over “Dr Corday. I wonder if you could spare
me a minute?”
Elizabeth stopped in her tracks “Of
course Dr Kovac, what can I do for you?” Luka was hesitant,
not having really spoken to the English doctor other than in the
course of treating patients. He found her a little intimidating.
“It, er…. is a kind of personal matter. Perhaps we
could talk in the Lounge?”
Elizabeth was intrigued. She knew
very little about the Croatian doctor, other than that he was an
excellent trauma physician. She had also noticed that he allowed
his emotions to affect the way he dealt with patients. This was
not a trait that she admired although she understood how
difficult it was to remain detached in some of the very difficult
situations they worked in. She herself had sometimes not acted in
an entirely professional manner – they were human beings
after all –not automatons.
“Please call me Elizabeth.”
She smiled hoping to put him at ease.
Luka paced nervously around the lounge.
“I have a friend who has lost her passport. She is a British
citizen, you see.” This was not coming out coherently. Luka
started again. “Sorry, what I meant to ask was if you knew
if there is a British consulate or embassy here in Chicago?”
He looked hopefully at Elizabeth.
“Yes, there is a consulate here. In
fact I have a friend who works there. Why don’t you tell me
more about your friends situation and perhaps I could arrange a
meeting.” Luka let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I
don’t like to trouble you but my friend is very desperate.
Not only has she lost her passport but also her visa would have
run out by now. I am hoping to find her a sponsor but I don’t
fully understand the rules and regulations.”
“Luka, I may call you that I hope?”
She paused and Luka nodded enthusiastically “Please do.”
“I can’t make any promises other than that I will do my
best and my friend - who I was at school with – will, I’m
sure do her very best within the constraints of the law.”
“I thank you again”
Elizabeth was struck by how much
younger Luka appeared today – his face was animated as he
spoke. She ventured a bold guess. “This friend of yours. Is
she by any chance your girlfriend?”
“No!” Luka protested quickly
- perhaps too quickly. “No, we are just friends. She
is very young..um..No, we are friends – that’s all”
His voice trailed off. He looked embarrassed. “I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy. Well actually” She
laughed “I did!” Luka chuckled lightly at this
confession and they went their separate ways.
He was still smiling at Elizabeth’s
confession when he ran into Kerry again. “You’re
looking happy today.” She remarked. Everyone had noticed the
change in Luka over the past few days. “Yes, thank you I am.”
His grin widened as if to prove it.
“Well I’ve got good news for
you. Adele is coming down at one o’clock and as things are
pretty quite around here we could both slip over to Doc Magoos
for a bit of lunch with her.” “Excellent. I think Alice
may be able to join us – if you think that would be a good
idea?” “I think it would be a very good idea.”
Kerry confirmed.
The meeting at Doc Magoos went very well.
Adele was really impressed with Alice particularly when she
described the placements she had done during her Music therapy
course. In fact Luka and Kerry had barely joined in the
conversation just taking time to enjoy their food for a change
but listening with interest too.
“Well Alice I have some ideas
already. There is a facility on the South Side for adults with
learning disabilities. It does excellent work but always has
trouble attracting the right kind of staff; it's not the best
location I guess. Shall I get in touch with the director on your
behalf?” “Oh yes please. Do you think they would
consider me with my current status – no visa I mean?”
“Well we can but try.” Adele did not want to make
promises she couldn’t keep.
“Luka chipped in “I spoke to
Dr Corday today – she’s English – she has a friend
at the British Consulate who could help with that.”
“My, you have been busy today!”
Kerry laughed. “I propose a toast: To Alice” And Kerry
raised her glass of iced tea “To Alice!” For a moment
Alice’s eyes filled up and she was afraid that she was going
to embarrass herself by crying again. Just then Luka squeezed her
hand under the table and she laughed instead “To me!”
The next few weeks flew by. Alice was kept
very busy, firstly with work at the Diner but also with
interviews and meetings until it was all settled. She was to
start work at the beginning of August by which time all her
papers would be in order. Whenever they could she and Luka would
spend time together. Sometimes they would go out exploring the
city but more often they would just hang out, mostly at Luka’s
apartment.
Luka had a heavy workload, as the department
was still short by one resident - plus, as it was summer there
was a number of staff taking vacations. Mark Greene had taken a
week out at the end of July to spend time with his daughter,
which put an added strain on the system. Often, after pulling a
double shift Luka would need to catch up on his sleep, which
meant that he didn’t see Alice for several days. When this
happened he found he really missed her and would try to spare a
few minutes to catch up with her at the diner before his next
shift. As the end of the month approached Luka realised that he
would soon not be able to even do this.
There was one last remaining problem to sort
out and that was accommodation. Corrine’s sister was due
home soon so Alice would be out on the street. The South Side
Centre had rooms available for staff members but Luka was very
reluctant to see Alice move so far away - he’d hardly see
her at all. But so far he had not come up with any sensible
alternatives. His apartment had only one bedroom and although he
would have willingly given up his room for her he knew it was not
really appropriate.
Finally the solution appeared right under
his nose. One evening as he was finishing up running the board
with Kerry he overheard Chuny complaining to Frank the desk clerk
that her aunt’s tenant had disappeared owing a month’s
rent. He mulled it over for a little while and then decided he
had nothing to lose.
“Chuny, pardon me for eavesdropping,
but does your aunt now have a room for rent?” “I guess
so, Dr Kovac. Was it your girlfriend you were thinking of?”
Luka blushed – it was barely discernible under his olive
skin but Chuny noticed. “Alice Finlay? Yes, but she’s
not my girlfriend!” he insisted. Chuny smiled “Of
course not, Dr Kovac! Would you like me to phone my aunt about
it? It’s a nice clean house not far from here.” “Thank
you, yes.”
The last part of the puzzle had fallen into
place. Alice met Chuny’s aunt and was delighted by the
little room in their attic. The rent was reasonable – at
least she could make it on her new salary and she allowed Luka to
put down the first month’s deposit for her.
It had been hard to rely so heavily on Luka
but she was looking forward to having her own financial
independence and being able to occasionally treat him. His
friendship meant the world to her and these days she no longer
even thought about returning to the UK. After all there was
nothing there for her. Her brother Robbie was more often out of
the country than not as his unit was posted to Kosovo then Africa
and who knows where next.
Everything that mattered was here in
Chicago.
*******
Luka was back on nights. He had been able to
take Alice out for a meal to celebrate her first day in her new
job but since then he had not seen her. It was nearly a
week and all that they had managed was a few brief phone
conversations. He was pleased that she was enjoying her work but
frustrated that his was keeping them apart. Still, it would not
be for much longer. Tomorrow he would have a day off and then
start back on earlies.
The shift seamed to drag by. It didn’t
help that they were not very busy. No major traumas and mostly a
succession of medical cases that barely taxed the residents.
Malucci was winding Luka up with his constant whinging so he kept
well out of his way feeling his fuse to be getting very short. He
was so looking forward to seeing Alice again and was already
planning where to take her. But first of all he needed to fall
into bed and sleep for twelve hours at least.
As soon as Luka got home he took his usual
shower but then fell straight into bed, his body needing sleep
more than nutrition. He had no idea how long he’d been
asleep when the phone ringing woke him with a start. It was the
director of the South Side Centre, Bernard Huwyler.
“I’m sorry to bother you Dr
Kovac but Alice hasn’t turned up for work today and I was a
little concerned because I couldn’t reach her at home.”
It took Luka a moment to gather his thoughts. “Urgh what
time is it?” “11 a.m.” The other man seamed
somewhat surprised by the question. “I’m sorry I’ve
been working nights and I was sleeping. She hasn’t phoned
you?” Luka was still struggling to take in the information.
“No, she hasn’t. I was worried
because I sent her home early on Friday. She was not very well
but I thought she would have got over it during the weekend. It
seams out of character for her to not call if she wasn’t
coming today.” Luka was worried too. “I’ll find
out what’s going on and let you know. Thanks for calling”
He hung up without waiting for a reply. Immediately he dialled
the house and when he got no reply tried Alice’s cell phone.
There was no answer. A knot began to form in Luka’s stomach.
His last call was to the hospital – at last Chuny came on
the line.
“No, I don’t know Dr Kovac. I
think my aunt has been away for the weekend. Yes, I guess Alice
was alone in the house….Dr Kovac?” Luka slammed down
the phone leaving Chuny talking to herself. Throwing the same
clothes he had worn to work back on Luka was out the door in
moments. Thanking God that she was only a few blocks away he
drove his old Saab like a maniac, abandoning it on the sidewalk
outside the house. The front door was locked and repeated
hammering on it got no response apart from an elderly neighbour
coming out to see what the racket was.
Luka hurriedly explained himself before
throwing his entire weight at the unyielding door, which
surprisingly collapsed under him. Picking himself up off the
floor he tore up the stairs yelling for Alice. At the door to her
room he hesitated, a wave of nausea sweeping over him. Fighting
it he entered to room, which was in darkness, the drapes pulled
shut.
“Alice?” There was a faint sound
from the bed. Pausing only to find the light switch, Luka hurried
over to the bed. Sinking to his knees he gingerly pulled back the
covers. Alice was as pale as marble her skin cold to the touch.
Feeling for a pulse Luka discovered that she was tachycardic. At
this moment the elderly neighbour appeared at the door.
“Call 911!” Luka barked. “She’s
in shock! Hurry!” He continued to examine her, cursing that
he had not brought his bag with him. “Alice, can you hear
me? Are you in pain?” She barely responded, her eyelids
flickering briefly.
“I’m here my darling just
hang on and we’ll get you to hospital soon.” Panic
stricken he searched her body for signs of trauma, finally
discovering that her abdomen was swollen. Just then the
paramedics arrived. Luka started giving them the bullet.
“Female, 25. Hemorrhagic shock.
Tachycardic, Loss of Consciousness, significant distension of
abdomen…” His voice cracked and he struggled to
continue. “We need to get in two large bore IVs and get her
to County NOW!”
“It’s OK Dr Kovac, we’ve got
It.” the paramedics were already moving her down the stairs
and Luka staggered after them. They were only a couple of minutes
from the hospital – there was barely time to warn the ER.
Chuny’s blood ran cold when she heard Luka’s voice on
the radio.
“We’ve got it Dr Kovac,
trauma 1 is ready and I’ll page Dr Corday now.” Only
moments later the gurney was crashing through the doors. Kerry
and Elizabeth were ready waiting. Elizabeth took the bullet from
the paramedics whilst Kerry intercepted the distraught Luka.
“We can handle it now, Luka – she’s in good hands.”
For a moment Luka resisted and then the nausea overtook him again
and, struggling out of Kerry’s arms he rushed back outside
to throw up.
Straightening up Luka found Frank the desk
clerk beside him. “She’s in good hands” He
repeated Kerry’s words. ”Come with me” and he
gently led Luka back inside. Luka stopped outside trauma 1.
Looking in, he could not see Alice for the crowds of his
colleagues working on her. He felt weak at the knees and leant
heavily against the doorframe.
His eyes met Kerry’s across the
room. She came out for a moment to appraise him of the situation.
“It was an ectopic pregnancy. It ruptured causing severe
blood loss. Elizabeth is performing a laparotomy right now –
there was no time to transfer to the OR.” Luka visibly paled
“Don’t let her die Kerry. Please don’t let her
die!” Kerry gave him a reassuring squeeze on his arm “We’ll
do everything in our power, Luka” and she returned to the
room.
The minutes seamed like hours as Luka waited
slumped in chairs. He felt so cold as if his blood had turned to
ice. At last Kerry and Elizabeth were coming towards him. Luka
stood up slowly, trying to read their faces – was it good or
bad? Elizabeth was the first to speak.
“You got to her just in time. She’s
still critical but we’re transferring her to the ICU. If she
gets through the next 12 hours she should make a full recovery.”
“I had no idea – that she was
pregnant.” Was all that Luka could say. “Would you like
to see her?” It was Kerry speaking now. Luka nodded and
Kerry gently took his arm and led him there.
Alice lay still on the table. Her colour was
a little better than before. She was on a respirator, a central
line inserted in her chest. Machines beeped, blood dripped
through tubes – her life had hung in the balance. Tears
streamed down Luka’s face as he bent over her, smoothing her
hair away from her face. “Alice, don’t leave me. I beg
you, don’t leave me.”
Kerry and Elizabeth exchanged a glance
and backed away leaving Luka alone with Alice. Lifting her hand
he pressed it to his lips, silently praying for the first time in
years. “Please don’t take her from me. Not Alice too.”
He took comfort from the gentle warmth of
her hand. The deathly coldness had gone – life was
returning. At last Kerry came back. “We need to move her
now. Why don’t you come and have a cup of tea with me, then
you can go and see her in the ICU when she’s settled in?”
“OK” Luka had recovered some of his composure and
followed Kerry to the lounge. “Thank you Kerry –
for saving her life. I have only just realised that I…..I
love her.”
“You’re not very quick on
the uptake are you?” “What do you mean?” Luka
stared at Kerry his eyebrows knitting together in a frown. “Well
it was quite obvious to me that you’re both besotted with
each other – I can’t understand how you could keep
denying it.” Kerry was nothing if not frank.
“But I am so much older than her,
Kerry. She could never see me as a lover I am sure.” Kerry
thought for a moment before replying. “Luka, I know you are
afraid of being rejected. God knows we all are. But you have to
seize hold of love before it passes you by. Alice loves you. She
may be ten years younger than you but she has an old soul. Please
let her know how you feel.” Luka did not answer but
carefully considered Kerry’s words.
A couple of hours later Elizabeth popped her
head around the door to check on her patient in the ICU. She was
not surprised to see Luka asleep in a chair beside the bed.
Quietly, so as not to wake him, she checked on Alice’s chart
and made a few observations of her own. The young woman had lost
a lot of blood and one of her fallopian tubes but otherwise it
looked as if she were on the road to recovery. She smiled a
little to herself recalling the day that Luka had first
approached her about Alice and how he had vehemently denied any
relationship with her. There could be no doubt now about his
feelings.
It was about midnight when Alice regained
consciousness. The strange sounds of the ICU were the first
things to register and then the antiseptic smell. Opening her
eyes she gradually took in the room with its array of medical
equipment and finally the figure of Luka slumped in the chair.
She tried to speak but found that her mouth was filled with
plastic tubing – all she could utter was a low grunting
sound.
Luka stirred his eyes flicking open.
For a moment he fought the stiffness in his limbs and then he was
on his feet. “Alice, It’s OK, I’m here. You’re
going to be all right.” He sought first to reassure her. He
touched her forehead, smoothing her brow. His fingers tracing the
outline of her finely arched brows.
“We should be able to get these
tubes out now – I’ll page Dr Corday. Don’t try to
talk yet.” He was only gone for a moment but Alice began to
panic. She had always been afraid of hospitals since both her
parents had died in them. Her father - blessedly quickly after a
massive Stroke; her mother - more tortuously after a long and
bitter struggle with Cancer.
Luka returned to her side. He knew that he
would have to tell her what had happened but he was struggling to
find the words. She was so young to have her future fertility
compromised. Alice noticed the play of emotions across his
face and became even more alarmed.
Just then Elizabeth arrived in
response to Luka’s call. “Alice has regained
consciousness and I hoped you would agree to extubate her now?”
Luka deferred to the senior doctor’s judgement.
“I don’t see why not.”
Elizabeth responded to his courteous manner. “You’re
doing very well Alice. We’ll get rid of this tube and then
we can fill you in on what’s been happening – unless
Luka has already…?”
“No” Luka interrupted “I
thought it best to wait until Alice could speak.” After the
tube had been removed and Alice had rinsed her mouth with water
she looked towards Luka - her eyes full of questions.
Luka began by asking her one. “Do you
know what was the matter with you, Alice?”
She frowned. “No. I started to feel bad
last week. I had a lot of pain. I, er, thought I was having a bad
period. Only it didn’t start and the pain got worse. I had
to come home early on Friday – I was feeling giddy and my
shoulders were aching. I thought I must be getting flu so I went
to bed.” She paused for a moment recalling the terrible
pain, which had thankfully now gone. “I don’t remember
much more – what happened to me?”
Luka had one more question. “Did you
know you were pregnant?”
“Pregnant!” Alice could not
believe it. “No!” Then she remembered something
and her face grew pale. Luka squeezed her hand, which he had been
holding all this time.
Elizabeth now spoke up. “Alice, Luka
brought you into the ER this morning. You had been pregnant but
the embryo had implanted in one of your fallopian tubes and it
had ruptured. You lost a lot of blood and were in shock. We gave
you a blood transfusion and I performed surgery to stop the
bleeding. Unfortunately I was not able to repair the damage done
to the tube but you still have one which is fully functional.”
There was a moment’s silence. Luka
admired the way Elizabeth broke the news – and was grateful
that she had not left it to him – where Alice was concerned
he could no longer detach himself and treat her as a patient.
Alice appeared to have taken the news
calmly. “Thank you Dr Corday. God I feel stupid for not
realising I was pregnant and I guess I should have let Luka know
I wasn’t feeling well” She gave him an apologetic look
before he could retort. “But I honestly had no idea what was
happening.”
Satisfied that her patient was fully
appraised of her situation and required no change in meds or
treatment, Elizabeth excused herself with the proviso that Luka
should let Alice get some sleep. After she had gone, Luka pulled
up the chair so that he could continue to hold her hand but get
the weight off his feet – he was feeling so tired.
“Alice” He began but she
interrupted him. “I need to tell you something, Luka”
“Can it wait?” Luka was anxious
that she didn’t over tire herself.
“No, I want to tell you now.”
Alice swallowed hard. Her throat felt raw from the intubation and
she had been bottling this up for so long – it was going to
be hard to get it out.
“That night when you stitched up my
face.” She hesitated. Luka was watching her intently as if
he knew what she was going to say. “I didn’t tell you
everything. I didn’t tell you that Lennie didn’t just
hit me. He….he raped me.”
Luka felt as if a red-hot poker had
just been plunged into his guts. “Oh, Alice why didn’t
you tell me?” his voice was hoarse with emotion. Alice
looked away – she could not bear to look at him, to see the
pain in his face. “I was ashamed.” She whispered.
Luka took her head in his hands and gently
turned her face to look at him. Gazing into her tear filled eyes
his own tears poured down his face, falling onto Alice like rain.
“No! No.” He shook his head. “It was not your
fault.”
Alice began to cry. “I felt so dirty. I
didn’t want you to know – how could you bear to….to”
Her sobs now wracked her whole body so she could no longer speak.
Luka was concerned that she was getting too agitated.
“Alice, Alice it’s alright. Shush,
shush.” He cradled her head against his shoulder, cursing
the lines and wires that prevented him taking her properly into
his arms. For a long time he held her tight whispering assurances
in her ear until she eventually stopped crying and fell asleep.
After she had been asleep for some time Luka
realised that time had been passing by and he had better get
himself cleaned up before he was on duty again. Heading towards
the elevator he bumped into Kerry who was on her way to the ICU
to check on him and Alice. She was dismayed to see the state Luka
was in – his eyes rimmed with dark shadows, clothes rumpled,
his unshaven beard giving him an even more gaunt appearance.
“Look Luka, I can cover the first hour
or two of your shift. Why don’t you go home any get yourself
a shower and some clean clothes?” She went on “Alice
will probably sleep for a good many more hours and we can ask the
ICU to page you when she wakes up.”
“Yeah, I already asked them to do that.”
Luka still looked indecisive. “Kerry, can I talk to you for
a minute - somewhere private.” They found an empty office
near the elevators. Kerry waited patiently for Luka to start
talking; observing his agitation as he paced up and down in front
of the window like a caged animal.
“She was raped!” He spat out the
words so suddenly that Kerry was taken completely off guard.
“Oh, my God!” She covered her mouth with her hand. Luka
continued “It was the man she was living with. The one who
beat her. I stitched up her face after the attack but she never
told me she had been raped. All this time she has never told me,
Kerry ” He turned to Kerry, his face stricken with
confusion.
“It’s not uncommon for rape to go
unreported, Luka. Especially if the attacker is known to the
victim.” As she spoke Kerry realised that this was not want
Luka wanted to hear.
“I know that Kerry! But we have talked
for hours and hours about – well, everything. And yet she
kept this from me. I just don’t understand.” Luka raked
his fingers through his already tousled hair. “She is such a
good listener. I have been able to tell her things that I have
kept inside me for years. She has helped me so much. I just can’t
bear to think she has been unable to tell me… this thing.”
He broke off emotion cracking up his voice.
“You mustn’t feel that you are to
blame, Luka” Kerry touched him briefly on the arm. “This
is something that has happened to her very recently. She may have
been trying to deny that it even happened. Just give her time and
space. She will open up to you when she is ready.”
“I want to kill this man.” Luka’s
voice was cold and harsh. Kerry had no doubt that he was capable
of doing it. “I don’t think that would help Alice. She
needs you to take care of her – not get yourself put in jail
for manslaughter.” Taking Luka’s arm again she began to
lead him towards the door. “Right now you need to get
yourself freshened up and get something to eat, too. I’ll
see you later and we can talk some more, OK?” He
nodded and forced himself to follow her suggestion.