Truths
Part
4 by LaL
Luka Kovac used to love Christmas. As a child, the
experience was magical; Santa Claus, reindeer, presents, a time
for your family - everything, even mundane things like washing
the dishes had a magical air to them at Christmas time. Then
as a teenager - despite his best efforts to appear aloof and
indifferent - he still loved the magical effect Christmas had on
everything and everyone. His late teens and early 20s were
about his wife and his mid 20s were about his children.
But now, as he approached his late 20s he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He had worked Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and was due to work on New Years Eve/New Years Day - in return for all of that he had Christmas day off.
Adele was getting a flight
early that morning to go home and spend Christmas and New Year in
Scotland, John and Dave were both working and Luka was beginning
to realise how few friends he had.
He had received a letter
from his younger brother Davor a few days before. It had
pictures of Davor and his wife Marijana and their new born son
Petar. Luka’s first reaction was sadness - thinking
about his own joy at becoming a father for the first time when
Jasna was born. However, his next feeling was overwhelming
happiness for his little brother and he put the pictures of
Davor, Marijana and Petar on a shelf in his living room beside
the pictures of his own children.
Luka was thinking about his family back in Croatia as he finished
his shift at 8pm on Christmas Eve. He ran over the board
with Kerry, then as he was getting ready to leave he was
embarrassed to find Randi and Abby standing with a piece of
mistletoe over his head. Slightly bewildered, but also
slightly flattered, he kissed both women lightly on the lips -
unaware that Chen was duly photographing each kiss.
Whatt are you doing?” he asked.
“Oh - don’t worry - we’re not going to report you
for cavorting with staff or anything. We’re making a
scrapbook-type-thing with all the male staff,” explained
Abby.
“Ah,” said Luka. “So who’s your next
victim?”
The women laughed and Randi told him it was Dave. As if
from nowhere - Malucci appeared shouting,
“Bring it on!”
Luka wrapped his scarf around his neck and put on his jacket -
watching as Dave put on a show for the staff congregating around
the admin desk.
“Goodbye everybody. Merry Christmas!” he called
as he left the hospital.
When he reached the ambulance bay he heard Carter call his name.
John ran up to him, bracing himself against the snow.
“Hey Luka. I was wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow?”
“Um, not really, just, you know…” Luka trailed
off. “Why?”
“Well, I finish at 4 and my gran is having a late supper.
I was wondering if you’d like to come over,” Carter
asked - not sure if Luka would want to celebrate Christmas.
“Dave, Peter and Cleo are all coming over and Kerry, Abby
and Deb - sorry Jing Mei - said they would put in an appearance.
There’ll be tonnes of food and stuff.”
“Yeah sure, I’d like that,” said Luka - thankful of the offer to get out of his apartment.
“Great - well come over any time after 8,” said Carter
as he headed back to the warmth of the hospital.
When Luka arrived back at his apartment block he trudged up the
flight of stairs trying to warm up again after his half-hour in
the freezing cold. He was so busy fumbling in his bag for
his key that he was surprised to hear a familiar Scottish voice
say “hello.”
He looked up immediately but saw no one, so he lowered his view
and saw Adele sitting on a suitcase in front of his door.
“Should you not be in Scotland?” he asked.
“Yeah, I * should * be. They cancelled all flights out
of the airport,” explained Adele as she stood up. “It’s
the weather.”
“Well, come in,” he offered as he opened the door.
“How long have you been sitting there?”
“Um, well I got here at about 4pm, once I’d given up
all hope of a flight. I sat around for an hour - then
remembered that you were working until this evening so I went and
sat in a bar a few streets away and spent the afternoon being
groped by drunks. Then I came back at about 7.”
“Sounds like an interesting day!”
“Yeah - interesting is one word for it. I hope you don’t mind me coming over. I probably should have gone straight home but I guess - with it being Christmas Eve and everything - I didn’t really want to spend the night in an empty house.”
“I’m glad you’re here - I wasn’t really
looking forward to a quiet night in with a bottle of whiskey and
“It’s A Wonderful Life” on the TV anyway.”
Luka and Adele were
still good friends. It was good for Luka to know somebody
who didn’t work at the hospital. She was always there
to listen to him if he wanted to talk - about anything. Sometimes,
in the middle of a normal conversation Luka would suddenly change
the topic and he would talk about his family. He poured out
his heart and soul on various occasions - and Adele was always
there to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be ok
Adele had also
found more friends since she started work. She met two
other young-ish female teachers, Kate and Therese who she
socialised with regularly. She had also surprised herself
by taking up, and enjoying, kick boxing where she met a crowd of
people who she went for coffee with after every class. She
was settling well into life in Chicago - she was even managing to
get a response from the kids she was teaching.
“They reckon
there’s not going to be any flights out of the airport until
after the New Year - so it looks like I’m not going home.”
“I’m
sorry,” said Luka as he put his keys on the table and turned
around to face her. Adele was crying. “Oh -
Adele, I’m really sorry. I know how much you were
looking forward to seeing your family again.”
He walked over to
her and wrapped his arms around her. Adele continued to
sniffle for a few moments before saying,
“It’s
just that that’s what Christmas is supposed to be about, isn’t
it? Spending time with your family.”<
Luka only nodded
and took a seat on his sofa. Adele moved to sit beside him,
and as she did so she saw the pictures on the shelf that he kept.
“Oh God Luka -
now it’s my turn to be sorry. It never occurred to me,”
she said.
“What?”<P>
“That
Christmas must be a…hard time for you. You know - your
family and things.”<
Luka understood
what she was talking about immediately and he nodded his head.
“Yeah - I
guess so.
Luka and Adele sat
in an uncomfortable silence for a while before Adele spoke.M<
“I - I know
how it feels.”
“Um…no, I
don’t think you can know that. You see - my family are…are
dead. Your family are in another country and it’s only
the weather that is preventing you from seeing them. It’s
not really the same thing.” Luka remained calm as
always but Adele could tell that he was fuming inside.
“I didn’t
mean * that *,” said Adele quietly, looking away from him.
“I meant that I know how it feels to lose the people most
important to you. A…um…”
Adele’s eyes
filled with tears and Luka wasn’t sure what she was going to
say next.
“You don’t
have to tell me if you don’t want to.”<
Adele shook her
head and wiped her eyes then began again.
“A few years
ago - when I was 17 - I met a guy called Kieran…Kieran
Patrick Jones. He was from Dublin but studying at Edinburgh
University. I was only in my last year of high school but
we got on really well. He was just getting over a
relationship so we stayed friends but he was…well he was the
most amazing man I’ve ever met. After about a year -
it was my first day of University and for some reason I woke up
and realised that I was in love with him. I met him in a pub
after my lectures and just blurted it out. Luckily he felt
the same and we kind of got together.”
She stopped for a
few seconds thinking things over in her head before continuing.
“Anyway, we
were together after that for four years - I had finished my
degree and was doing a year at teacher training college and
Kieran was taking a year out before getting a job. We had
so many plans - to travel and see the world together - but I
found out that I was pregnant. I told Kieran after about
two months and he was really happy about it and although it was
never something we had thought about we decided that a child was
what we wanted. I mean, I was 21 and he was 22, we were
living together and we were both serious about the relationship.
Kieran proposed to me - I guess to make an “honest woman”
out of me or something.”
Adele stopped again
and played with the small silver and diamond ring that she wore
on a chain around her neck.
“Is…is
that your engagement ring?” Luka asked quietly.
“Yes,” said Adele - in a tone barely more than a whisper.
“Adele really
- if you don’t want to tell me this you don’t have to.”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “But if you want to
tell me - I’m listening.”
“We were
waiting until I was past three months before telling anyone else
about the baby - but we were growing to be so happy about it.
Last February - we visited friends just outside Edinburgh and we
were driving back home when there was an accident. A…um…drink
driver…he…um…drove into us - on the driver’s
side and it was serious.”
Tears began to
stream down Adele’s face.
“I was knocked
unconscious - but only had cuts and bruises. Kieran…he
was…erm…killed…on impact they reckon. And
the baby…well - I miscarried.”
Luka could see it was tearing Adele apart to tell him all of this. He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, she leant into his chest and wept. Somehow though, her sadness turned into anger and she pushed herself out of his arms and stood up.
“So you see
Luka - you’ve no right to tell me that I don’t know how
it feels to lose your family. I might not have lost my wife
and children - I didn’t have them to lose - but I have lost
the single most important man in my life and my unborn child so
don’t tell me what I do or don’t feel!”
“Adele I’m
sorry - but I had no idea that anything like this had happened to
you,” said Luka apologetically.
“Yeah - well
that’s because I don’t let it rule my life. You
know - shit stuff happens but you just have to deal with it and
move on otherwise…well, you’ll spend the rest of your
life dwelling on what happened and what might have been instead
of remembering the good things and making the best of what you *
do * have.”
Adele stopped and
took a deep breath. Luka could almost see her face crumble
and she crouched down on the floor and wept. Forgetting all
thoughts of his own family, Luka knelt down in front of her and
wrapped her up in his arms. She rested her head on the side
of his neck and sobbed, but eventually her tears ran dry and they
sat cross-legged facing each other.
“I…I’ve
never told anyone else about the baby. Kieran was the only
one who knew. I guess it’s just brought back a whole
load of memories that should have been left in the past.
“Adele - you
know that I’m always here for you to talk to.”
Adele nodded and
smiled at him.
“I know -
thank you,” she said quietly and shyly - looking much
younger than her 23 years.
“Ok - sit
there for a minute,” Luka instructed her as he stood up.
“Why?”
asked Adele straining her neck to look up at him.
“Just do it!”
“Ok -
whatever.”
Adele heard noises
coming from the kitchen - cupboard doors banging, plates and cups
rattling - but she stayed where she was and waited for Luka’s
return.
“Close your
eyes,” he told her.
She obliged and
when she opened them she was amazed by what she saw. A tray
covered in plates of shortbread and scones, a bottle of Scottish
whiskey, four cans of Irn-Bru (a uniquely Scottish drink which
was almost impossible to find in Chicago) and even a haggis still
in its wrapping with a small tartan bow round it. Adele’s
face lit up when she saw it all.
“It was
supposed to stop you feeling homesick when you came back from
Edinburgh but I figured this was a better time.”
“Thanks you so
much!” gushed Adele, cracking open a can of Irn-Bru and
taking a long drink.
Later that evening,
Luka and Adele were lying on Luka’s bed wrapped up in
sleeping bags and duvets, watching “It’s A Wonderful
Life” and drinking the bottle of whiskey that Luka had
bought Adele. Luka had asked Adele to go with him to Carter’s
the next day and Adele seemed genuinely enthusiastic about
spending the next few days with Luka.
As the film was
drawing to a close Luka leant over to Adele and whispered
something in her ear.
“Hey Adele.
“What?”
“It’s
12:04 am - Merry Christmas!”
Adele leant forward and planted a small kiss on Luka’s forehead.
“Merry Christmas.”